


even though i still keep you inside my broken heart

by enaxii



Category: Cytus (Video Games)
Genre: Domestic, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23093080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enaxii/pseuds/enaxii
Summary: She inhales, holds her breath. Feels the glass shards cutting her heart and her lungs. Then she exhales, imagines the glass melting into the lump in her throat, the cuts stinging but not fresh.Neko looks up and meets the eyes of Sherry.
Relationships: Asakura Neko | NEKO#ΦωΦ/Aroma White | Paff
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	even though i still keep you inside my broken heart

At exactly midnight, the digital clock lets out a quiet beep and Neko sits down on the sofa.

In her hands, she gingerly holds two cups of almost-scalding tea, one of which she places on the other side of the coffee table. When Neko takes a sip of the tea, the steam fogs up her glasses. The little bit of liquid that she manages to swallow leaves behind a tingling sweet taste in her mouth before burning its way down her throat, but even just the smell of Aroma’s favourite blend has always relaxed her, and this time is no different.

“You’re awake.”

Neko doesn’t look up from her cup, her grip tightening painfully on the handle. It has been almost five years, but hearing her voice again has made the pain come back with a roaring vengeance.

“Well, Neko can’t leave you here alone, can I?”

She inhales, holds her breath. Feels the glass shards cutting her heart and her lungs. Then she exhales, imagines the glass melting into the lump in her throat, the cuts stinging but not fresh.

Neko looks up and meets the eyes of Sherry.

“It has been five years, Neko.”

Sherry sounds sad, but her expression is unreadable from where she’s sat at the opposite end of the sofa. The room is dark, Neko not quite daring to turn on the lights for fear of disturbing the still-sleeping Aroma, but she almost regrets that decision. The dim glow from the kitchen casts a sharp contrast on Sherry’s face, half her face shrouded in darkness.

Neko laughs awkwardly, taking her glasses off her face to wipe the lenses left foggy from the condensation.

“Really? It doesn’t feel like that much time has passed at all…”

The living room is silent except for the gentle squeak of cloth on glass.

Finally, Sherry exhales and leans back into her seat. Now she sits completely in the shadows, but Neko can see a gentle smile on Sherry’s face.

“Are the glasses new?”

Neko’s hand pauses in her ministrations, dropping the corner of her shirt to run her fingers over the frame.

“Yeah… Neko just got them last month. Aroma said that it’s a wonder my eyesight isn’t worse, with how much time I spend on the computer…”

After a month of Neko squinting at not-that-distant text, having constant headaches and misreading road signs, Aroma had literally dragged her to an optician. To Neko’s immense dismay and continued denial, Neko’s eyesight had deteriorated enough to warrant a pair of spectacles.

“I didn’t want any stupid glasses, but Aroma looked so excited when she picked out this frame… I didn’t want to disappoint her.”

Neko sighs and puts her glasses back on. By now, the tea has cooled enough for Neko to swallow a mouthful without it taking all the skin in her mouth with it. The tea packet still sits at the bottom of the cup, and the sheer time it’s been in the tea has caused it to become a little bitter, but Neko downs it anyway.

“That’s sweet of you, Neko. You know, you probably should start taking better care of yourself.”

Neko snorts, carefully placing the cup back down on the table with a soft clack of ceramic on the wooden table.

“Like you’re one to talk, Sherry. You had all these bad habits back when you were-”

_ Alive _ .

Neko stutters to a stop, but it’s too late. Just like that, the mood is ruined.

“...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

The silence feels suffocating. Neko wishes that they had bought that old grandfather clock Aroma spotted at the thrift store the other day, just for something to fill the space with. The chasm stretches between Neko and Sherry, deep and yearning and as unbridgeable as the space between life and death.

“It  _ has _ been five years, Neko. I’ve moved on, so as to speak.”

Neko can almost imagine the ticking of the clock.

“Then why are you still here?”

Sherry leans forward again, and this time, her entire face is caught in the light. Her eyes seem to shimmer with tears unshed, but she has a small smile on her face. Determined to help others, even in death.

“I think you should be asking yourself that, Neko.”

This time, Neko is the one who leans away. She feels sweat beading on her forehead, her fingers becoming clammy. Her tea is half-finished.

“I…”

She thinks about the chaos that had enveloped all the Nodes five years ago. She thinks of the screams of the dying, the thunder of guns. She thinks about Node 3, of Kyuu Hou Kai, of a stray bullet that ended a life too soon. 

“Sometimes… I wonder if I had just done something differently… Maybe, I could have prevented- prevented  _ that _ from happening.”

There’s a crease between Sherry’s eyebrows, but her voice is still level.

“Say it, Neko. What happened?”

Neko breathes, closes her eyes and pretends that maybe,  _ maybe _ Sherry really is in the room. She can almost hear the distant hum of an electric guitar, the smooth tunes of a saxophone, the gentle beats of a drumset.

“Your death, Sherry. Maybe, if I had just done something different, I could have prevented you from dying.”

The illusion breaks, and she opens her eyes to a dark room. Crystal Punk is no more, and their lead singer sits in front of Neko, a bullet wound gaping in her chest. The room recedes back into silence, cold static replacing the warm tunes she once heard.

“It wasn’t you, Neko. You weren’t the one who fired the bullet. You weren’t the one who brought me to Node 3. I died protecting the people I love, and that isn’t your fault.”

There is a harsh stinging in Neko’s eyes, and she covers her mouth to stifle the shuddering breaths that sound dangerously like a sob.

“It’s okay to cry, Neko.”

And just like that, she feels hot tears sliding down her face, her chest heaving in the effort of keeping silent so that she will not disturb Aroma.

“I- I miss you- I miss you so much, S-Sherry. You were like- like the o-older sister I n-never had-”

Sherry is crouched beside Neko, one hand hovering over Neko’s shoulder and expression wistful.

“Me too, Neko. But you have to let go of me. Move on.”

Neko sniffs and rubs at her eyes. The tears are still coming, but they feel less like sadness and something more like relief. There’s a weight in Neko’s heart that finally seems to have been lifted, and after five long years of carrying it, Neko can hardly remember what it felt like to be without it. But now, Neko feels…  _ free. _

“Neko…?”

The light clicks on behind Neko, and she jumps in her seat, whipping around to face the sound.

Aroma stands in the doorway of the bedroom, silently yawning.

“What are you doing out here at… 12.14 AM?”

“Ah… Aroma… I’m sorry, Neko didn’t want to disturb you.”

Aroma waves off her concern, padding into the living room. There’s no one there but Neko. She squints at Neko’s face for a while, before her eyes widen.

“Neko, have you been crying? What’s wrong?”

Neko laughs, watery but, funnily enough, sincere.

“No, I was just thinking about Sherry… She died today.”

“Oh, Neko…”

Aroma wraps her arms around Neko, and she buries her head into Aroma’s shoulder. Aroma runs her hand through Neko’s hair, gently parting any tangles she finds.

“Sherry wouldn’t want us to be sad for her, she would want us to move on.”

Neko closes her eyes and breathes in Aroma’s smell. She smells like warm teas and autumn leaves, smells like the lemon soap they both use, smells like  _ home. _

“Yeah. Yeah, she would. Come on Aroma, let’s go back to bed.”

In the dim light of the kitchen, both cups of tea are empty, and Neko can almost feel the dissipating touch of a comforting hand on her shoulder, proud.

**Author's Note:**

> i've realised that i love writing about comfort through head touching/hair combing. lmao.
> 
> anyway, tell me how you feel! your comments fuel my writing.


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